“I cannot support a system which, in its administration, has proven so fraught with error and has come so close to the ultimate nightmare, the state’s taking of innocent life… Until I can be sure that everyone sentenced to death in Illinois is truly guilty, until I can be sure with moral certainty that no innocent man or woman is facing a lethal injection, no one will meet that fate.” –Governor George Ryan of Illinois, January 2000, in declaring a moratorium on executions in his state, after the 13th Illinois death row inmate had been released from prison due to wrongful conviction. (photo © AFP)

Last night to the horror of the world, the state of Georgia killed death row inmate Troy Davis for the murder of police officer Mark MacPhail. Davis’ supporters believe that no physical evidence tied him to the crime which saw Davis sit on death row for 22 years.

The U.S. Supreme Court banned the death penalty in 1972 but authorized its resumption in 1976, allowing each state to decide whether or not to use it. Currently, 12 states and the District of Columbia do not use the death penalty. Those states include Alaska, Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Vermont, West Virginia and Wisconsin. Recent laws have expanded the number of crimes for which capital punishment can be applied, while other legislation has reduced appeal mechanisms available to those on death row.

I am against the death penalty. Here are seven reasons why.

1. Regions of the US that use the death penalty are the least safe for police officers.  According to statistics from the latest FBI Uniform Crime Report, regions of the US using the death penalty the least are the safe for police. Police face the most danger in the south, which accounts for 80% of all executions (90% in 2000). In addition, a study of the deterrence value of the death penalty focused on whether the death penalty deterred the murder of police officers. A study surveyed a thirteen year period of police homicides and found “no consistent evidence that capital punishment influenced police killings during the 1976-1989 period. . . . [P]olice do not appear to have been afforded an added measure of protection against homicide by capital punishment.”

2. The majority of people executed are poor. About 90% could not afford a lawyer when they went to trial and had to rely upon a court-appointed lawyer. Some disagree with this stance, and claim a defendant’s income has little bearing on whether they receive the death penalty. ProCon.org presents both sides of the argument, with the statements presented leaning towards the idea that yes, poor people do in fact get picked to die more than others.

3.  The death penalty may or may not deter crime. ProCon.org gives a balanced view of both the pro death penalty side and the anti-death penalty stance on this issue. Some studies show an overall drop in homicide rates in the years following the abolishment of the death penalty. The homicide rate in Canada has been gradually dropping since executions were stopped. This phenomenon has been observed in other countries who’ve abandoned the death penalty, though more research needs to be done to establish a direct relationship between decrease in homicides and cessation of the death penalty.

4. The death penalty costs more per prisoner than life imprisonment. ProCon.org attempts to present both sides of this debate here, but was only able to gather a small amount of evidence to the contrary, backing up research that the death penalty does in fact cost more than life imprisonment.

5. Some people on death row are innocent. Since 1973, over 130 people have been released from death row with evidence of their innocence.  1973-1999 saw an average of 3.1 exonerations per year, while there were five per year from 2000-2007.

6. Race is a factor in determining who dies. In 1990, a report from the General Accounting Office concluded that “in 82 percent of the studies [reviewed], race of the victim was found to influence the likelihood of being charged with capital murder or receiving the death penalty, i.e. those who murdered whites were more likely to be sentenced to death than those who murdered blacks.” 15 white people have been executed for killing a black person, while 246 black people have been executed for killing whites (this figure obviously doesn’t take into account the innumerable number of African-American men, women and children killed for “offenses” against whites throughout the history of this country for which no white person was ever held accountable).

7. The death penalty assumes there is no hope for rehabilitation. While most major religions teach us that human beings are capable of mental, emotional and spiritual change over time through love and the showing of compassion. I know what I’m about to say might sound judgmental, but in my eyes states that allow the death penalty do not take this same stance.

Questions:

What was your reaction to the execution of Troy Davis? Are you for, or against the death penalty? Why or why not?

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed the law on March 26, 2011

In my mind this could only mean a couple of things:

1. There are growing numbers of Arizona women coming to abortion clinics concerned about the race of their child conceived during interracial sex, and telling their abortion providers “I can’t have this baby because it might be (insert race here)!”

2. Arizona doesn’t want too many of a certain race or sex of baby aborted. Question is, which race/gender might they be trying to save?

Arizona is the first state in the US to have a law like this on the books. And although the article I linked to attempts to explain the motives behind the law, the explanation seems suspect to me plus this law reeks of being part of a devious plot to slowly reverse Roe v. Wade.

Is it? What are your thoughts on why Arizona passed this law?

A man and a woman–let’s call them Steven and Lisa–are making love. A 24-year-old mother of two children from two previous relationships, Lisa feels lucky to have found Steven, 28, who says he completely adores her–children, stretch marks and all. He’s not perfect, but the tall hunk with curly hair she met at a party at her girl’s house a month ago is stroking her so good, the fact that he’s unemployed and has two kids from two prior relationships of his own fades from her mind with every thrust.

The sex is so hot and passionate, it doesn’t take long for Lisa to climax. Again. Then again. And so does Steven.

This…is perfect… she thinks, lulled into a feeling of comfort in the afterglow of their union. As Steven holds her in his arms, she believes she’s falling in love and wonders if, as in previous relationships, what she has with him might be too good to be true.

Unfortunately for Lisa, it is.

Because what Lisa doesn’t know as she basks in the after rays of their lovemaking is, that chemicals released by her own body have made her a ready target for repeating the pattern that’s already left her a single mother–twice.

These chemicals, released by her brain every time she and Steven touch, kiss, cuddle and make love, are also the same chemicals that may cause her feelings for Steven to dangerously intensify.

Dangerous, because although Steven’s body releases these same chemicals, they don’t affect him as strongly as they do Lisa.

Three months from now, Lisa will find out she’s three months pregnant. She’ll also find out upon telling Steven the “good news” that the love she feels for Steven isn’t mutual. She pleads with Steven to work things out “for the baby,” but to him there was never anything to “work out”.

To her it was love. To him, it was lust.

Four months from now, Steven moves on to a different relationship, leaving Lisa alone to raise three children, another unfortunate victim blinded by the science of sex.

Addicted to Love

Love is an all consuming part of life, but only a few tiny parts of the brain are active in controlling it. These areas include the medial insula–an area associated with “gut” feelings–and part of the anterior cingulate, an area responsible for the euphoria induced by drugs like cocaine.

Love, in fact, makes your brain look and act in many ways, like a drug addict’s brain, and can produce extremely focused attention (toward a love partner) and feelings of extreme elation during the relationship–even mania.

This same area also releases dopamine and serotonin when we meet someone we find attractive, thus the initial spark that drew Steven to Lisa.

Once they became physical, however, that spark exploded into a full-blown flame, thanks to a heady mix of opiate-like chemicals released by these regions during sex along with a highly influential nueurohormone called oxytocin.

Oxytocin, also called the “cuddle hormone” is produced through touch. The more someone is touched, the higher their levels of oxytocin rise. The higher someone’s level of oxytocin rises, the greater their desire to be touched.

This positive feedback loop is thought to promote adult pair-bonding and co-parenting of children. Oxytocin is also released during childbirth, labor and breastfeeding in both mother and infant, which scientists believe plays a role in forming the maternal bond.

The emotional feelings oxytocin can produce are associated with affection, caring, love, peace, nurturing, security and attachment.

When Lisa and Steven first met, they didn’t have sex right away, but the dopamine-induced feelings of excitement released every time they hung out opened the door to holding hands, kissing and other forms of oxytocin drenched touch.

Within two weeks of meeting, they had the most incredible sex Lisa had ever had.

No Way To Control It, It’s Totally Automatic

Slightly thuggish and built like an athlete with hazel eyes, Steven didn’t have a job at the moment but with his degree in auto maintenance, he always had enough work on the side to give Lisa bill money here and there so she didn’t complain about him not pounding the pavement every day in search of stable employment.

She also loved the attention and compliments he showered on her, and the way he would even bring her flowers sometimes, just because.

When they had sex again, it was even better than the first time, and the third time was even better than the first two times combined.

Lisa was utterly infatuated and couldn’t get Steven off her mind. She would write his name over and over again in her poetry notebook, and got flushed just thinking about him. Sometimes, it was if Steven was all she could think about.

And this precisely is where the heart, so to speak, of Lisa’s problem lies.

When men are engaged in intimacy, their brains secrete a hormone called vasopressin, also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” which can emotionally bind them to a woman and encourage him to become protective of her around other men.

And although both men’s and women’s brains release oxytocin, scientists speculate that women’s special relationship with oxytocin might cause a woman to emotionally bind herself to a man in an even stronger way.

Not only does the female brain have more oxytocin receptors, but oxytocin is also virtually powerless without estrogen, which naturally occurs in most women at much higher rates than it does in most men.

Pregnancy, which Lisa has already experienced four times (two of her pregnancies were aborted) is thought by researchers to increase the number of receptors a woman has.

What’s more, great sex, like the kind that is causing Lisa to fall heels over head in love with Steven, causes oxytocin levels to spike even higher. During orgasm men’s levels of oxytocin are said to rise 3-5 times, but women’s levels rise even more dramatically and continue to rise during each subsequent orgasm.

With Lisa’s history of motherhood combined with the toe-curling, multiple orgasms she was enjoying with Steven, it seemed inevitable that she would become an oxytocin fueled sex machine. And though there was the occasional heated argument–and those phone calls to Steven’s cell at all hours of the day and night–she couldn’t get enough of him.

Oxytocin, interestingly, plays a part in this too.

Once released by the brain, oxytocin decreases mental processes and impairs memory, which is why make-up sex usually soothes the savage conflict. Oxytocin released during the act induces a sort of blurry memory phase during which people tend to stop thinking about, or even forget, any pain or aggravation that caused the conflict to start with.

And, with help from the oxytocin touch-response feedback loop, the more sex Steven and Lisa had, the more they wanted, which multiplied Lisa’s probability of getting pregnant.

After two weeks of having sex with Steven, he told Lisa he wanted to stop using condoms. “I can’t feel anything,” Steven told her.

With the fact that, if he really couldn’t feel anything he wouldn’t have ejaculated every time they had sex flying completely over Lisa’s head, she agrees and, the first time Lisa and Steven have sex without a condom–an episode described at the beginning of this story–she gets pregnant.

It’s Like a Badge of Honor, To Be a Baby Mama

The night Lisa and Steven’s child was born, Steven was nowhere to be found. He wouldn’t return Lisa’s calls or Facebook messages, so she spent the entire first half of her labor–between Lamaze breaths–angrily putting him on blast on Twitter.

Still, that night as she laid in the hospital room breastfeeding their new daughter, all she could think about was Steven, especially when the baby looked at her with Steven’s hazel eyes.

Once home, she missed Steven terribly and found herself crying uncontrollably. She called her mom for some words of advice.

Her mother, who had raised Lisa by herself after being abandoned by her boyfriend at 17, and who also felt depressed after Lisa’s birth told Lisa it was probably just a bad case of “exhaustion,” and immediately rushed to Lisa’s side to take care of the kids so Lisa could rest.

But unbeknown to Lisa and her mother, there was a chemical in heavy existence in both of their bodies right after the births of children born in similar circumstances–breastfeeding, alone and heartbroken–that may have played a part in their depression as well.

After childbirth, a woman’s level of oxytocin rises dramatically and her entire being goes into touch-response overdrive. But if the touch-response activity is not reciprocated, perhaps because she is physically–or feels mentally–alone, the levels can fall drastically, throwing her hormones off-balance and causing an emotional whirlwind.

Scientists say this sudden surge of oxytocin without reciprocal touch-response can cause the same empty, alone and even disgusted feeling that can come from a one night stand when there is no one to cuddle with afterward.

And sadly for Lisa, there is no one to hold or comfort her after long days of taking care of three children, sometimes for 24 hours straight.

Steven doesn’t come around much anymore. He stopped by once during their daughter’s first week of life to drop off a box of diapers and she hasn’t since him since, because Steven has already “bonded,” or rather, “re-bonded”, with another woman–the mother of his second child who he was still seeing while he was dating Lisa.

Now Lisa is left alone, again. And maybe, forever.

All African-American single mothers are not Lisas.

In fact, studies into the relatively new (occurring within the last 50 years) trend of single motherhood show that, of the 70% of African-American children being born out of wedlock many are born to women in long-term partner relationships or to successful career women who feel they’ve exhausted their dating options, and, hearing the ticking of their biological clock, opt purposefully and thoughtfully for single motherhood.

But for uneducated mothers like Lisa without resources or opportunities for advancement, and who may have been sexually abused or poorly fathered–which may explain what often attracts these women to poorly fathered men–single parenthood plus youth and lack of familial and economic stability can be a disastrous mix.

Often for women like Lisa, the only joy and feelings of acceptance they receive comes from their children, but without adequate resources these women may be putting these children on a road to disaster before they’re even born.

Research suggests children from single parent homes are more likely to engage in crime, especially if living among other single parent families, more likely to drop out of school, start having sex at younger ages and are even more likely to be sexually assaulted as children.

Serial parenthood and having multiple sex partners can also be emotionally damaging.

The oxytocin-laced “pair bonding” mechanisms in our brain are, in a way, like Velcro. When the human brain attempts to pair-bond too often, these binding agents can become fragile and weakened to the point where the brain becomes less able to bond on a broader level beyond sex.

If Lisa decides to date seriously in the future, her brain may in fact be molded by the breaking of these bonds to no longer accept the deep emotional attachment necessary for life-time commitment.

Sex is a personal choice, but the ever-present chemicals released during the act allow the possibility of becoming emotionally attached to sex partners in a deeper way than most of us realize. In other words, even if you tell yourself it’s just sex, your body may think differently. And cause you to think differently as well.

Love, whatever it may be (physical, emotional, both and more?) is caused by a multitude of factors and is not just dependent on chemicals like oxytocin. But if Lisa had been more aware of the influential chemicals in her brain that were subliminally swaying her to compulsively seek her self-worth between her legs, she might have made better decisions.

I hope Lisa’s story will open up some much needed discussion about the science of sex, and perhaps help a few, or even, just one woman who reads this to no longer be blinded by it.

*Written for No Wedding, No Womb.

After all they enslaved us, beat us, raped us, dehumanized us, etc. for hundreds of years, so the hate is justified and there’s not a damn thing any white person can do about it!

And so it goes…

enslaved Africans picking cotton

Over a 100 years after the official end of American slavery, most black Americans are still so attached to the subject, it’s as if we “own” the very concept of being enslaved — like we’re the only race of people who’ve ever been bought and sold.

It’s even to the point that, when most African-Americans even think of the word “slave”, we automatically picture a black person in our minds, as if black person = slave.

But I think perhaps its time for black people to get over it. Yes, I said it. Get.Over.It.

Not forget about slavery, but just not concentrate on it so much as something that only happens to black people.

Because while we’re running around blaming white people for every ill that’s ever happened to us, we are wasting a lot of precious time not contributing to the ending of this most heinous institution.

Slavery still exist today in many parts of the world. And yes, even right here, today, in the United States of America!

I just watched an hour long Frontline documentary about sex slavery in Europe that really helped expand my view of how foul and wide-reaching slavery really is, and I encourage you to watch it too.

enslaved Africans in Cumberland Landing, Virginia 1862

Watching it helped me, as a black person, “disown” slavery for lack of a better word, in that it taught me that mourning for what my ancestors went through, while it does give me a feeling of connection to modern day slaves, does not necessarily help me contribute today to the ending of slavery all over the world.

It’s time for black people to stop framing our whole existence in the context of being the descendants of slaves, because there are soooooo many people in this world who have it much worse than any black person in this country will EVER have it. And watching this documentary will help you see that.

As a side note, I find it interesting that most of the evil and destruction in the world is caused by the wants of men. If men didn’t want to stick their dicks into everything moving from 18 month old babies to 100 year old women and everything in between, there would be no need for sex slavery, because in that business, like in most other businesses, demand drives supply.

But as I said that’s just a side note and I’ll be sure to do a full post at a later date discussing how men, their evil appendages, their machismo and their weak bitch-ass female sidekicks are on the verge of destroying the world.

Anyway, the film is only an hour. Take some time and open your eyes to how bad some ofter people have it, then get off your ass and do something, even if you don’t do anything but share this on Facebook using one of my share links below, because just by doing that you will help enlighten others about this very serious issue. Check out the film below:

Currently, R&B sensation and American Idol winner Fantasia’s affair with a married man and Alicia Keys’ dalliance with Swizzy before they got married are bringing this subject to the forefront of the black blogosphere.

Fantasia with Antwaun Cook in January 2010

I had a friend once who used to date married men. She was an attractive dark-skinned woman, who worked out and was into sports — and sports players — including her sometimes (when he wasn’t with his wife) man.

When I asked her why she would sleep with a married man, she said she liked “the gifts, casual sex and the lack of serious attachment”.

For a young lady on the go and about her business, I could see how that might seem like an ideal set up.

But what about his wife? And his kids? I asked.

“What about ‘em?” my friend said, side-eyeing me with her left eyebrow high in the air. “I don’t care about them, as long as he’s good to me.”

Just Be Good to Me

When my friend said that, I immediately thought about the lyrics to another popular song about cheaters, the 80s SOS band smash, “Just Be Good to Me“.

The song, which features a monster R&B groove rising and falling over heavy synthesizers, tells the story of a young woman enamored with a man who “may have many others”, but she shelves thoughts of him cheating as long as the man agrees to “just be good” to her.

Over the years, I’ve had more friends…mostly black women I might add…who’ll sometimes call to tell me about a great guy they just met, and in the midst of gushing over this man, eventually a small dent in this new knight’s armor will be casually revealed: “He’s perfect! Except…did I mention that he’s married?”

And just like a film director, I already know what my friend is about to say next. It’s the same phrase I hear over and over from friends who date married men, as if they all read the same script.

My friend adds quickly, pushing the string of words out so fast it’s almost like one: “ButHe’sSeparatedFromHisWifeSoIt’sNotLikeHe’s really married…”

Really?

I’ve often wondered why so many of my friends seem to find nothing wrong with dating married men, and when I say “married men” I also include men who claim to be “separated”, because “separated” does not equal “divorced”.

Is the dating crisis for black women really that severe that we’re driven to share men? Or is there something deeper going on?

Fantasia performing

Fantasia Barrino is a dark skinned black woman of amazing vocal talent from the south, North Carolina to be exact, who grew up poor with the black church as her backbone.

While I don’t know Fantasia or anything about her life other than the facts I’ve already mentioned, I’m going to venture to guess a few things about her.

1. She probably grew up having her hair fried with a straightening comb every week as a child before she was deemed “old enough” at age 8 or 9 to have her hair coated with toxic chemicals for 30 minutes every month in order to straighten it, with particular attention paid to straightening the “naps” in her ““kitchen”.

2. More than likely, she was often made to feel inferior because of her dark skin, and may have even been advised to use bleaching creams or to “stay out of the sun so you don’t get darker”.

3. Someone may have even advised her to tuck her lips in so they didn’t protrude as much, or, as my grandmother used to tell me, “pinch your nose a little every night so maybe it’ll get straighter”.

How can I say these things? Because Fantasia’s upbringing, more or less, was my upbringing.

And while our stories are exactly not the same, I know one thing: the stories of black women who grew up poor in the South are, in many ways, more alike than they are different.

I have no doubt Fantasia’s low self-esteem caused by her –our– upbringing contributed to her extreme attachment and devotion to this married man, who, as a church-going woman, Fantasia should have automatically backed away from. But why didn’t she?

Friends…Tell Me I Am Crazy…

Ok. I’m not even going to front and act like I can’t see what the attraction is. Antwaun Cook is one fine brother.

When Fantasia met Antwaun at his T-Mobile store in Charlotte, she no doubt was swept off her feet by someone that was attracted to her blackness, her full lips, wide hips and take-me-as-I-am Carolina girl attitude. (And maybe even her money and fame…shhhh…).

Fantasia, star of VH1′s Fantasia For Real and the Oprah Winfrey produced Broadway play The Color Purple is a young mom, and she may have been longing for a successful man for years, but has had to devote most of her time to taking care of her daughter and to her career.

Maybe she just wanted to be put on a pedestal for a change by someone who could make her feel taken care of. As a black woman, I get it.

And in exchange for having this “He’s perfect! Except…” man in her life –who probably made this once little black church girl feel like the most beautiful woman in the world– she was willing to overlook the fact that this man was not yet legally free.

Now Fantasia’s life seems to be falling apart, and I wonder if she thinks it was worth it.

Apparently there’s a sex tape starring Fantasia and Antwaun in existence, Antwaun broke it off with her (though they’ve been spotted together recently) and a lawsuit currently being brought against Tasia by the current Mrs. Cook could cost Fantasia millions.

The publicity surrounding the affair, sex tape and lawsuit has put Fantasia in a deep depression. She even made an attempt on her own life. And in the midst of her nightmare, some people have even joked that she’s learning lessons from the Alicia Keys guide to dating.

And through it all, I’m guessing that the worst part of this, at least for Fantasia, is the fact that the man who’s last name she has tattooed on her left shoulder is still married, albeit separated.

Where has he been throughout this controversy? Has he come to her rescue in the media? Where is her knight now?

Fantasia’s heartache saddens me, for several reasons. One, Fantasia is a fellow young black woman from North Carolina who reminds me a lot of myself because we both know what it’s like to grow up black and poor in this state.

Two, Fantasia’s story reminds me of the first friend I mentioned.

Eventually, my friend’s sometime man, who seemed to be in a perpetual state of “separation,” finally got a divorce. And soon after his divorce, he wasted no time in getting hitched again — to someone else.

My friend, who thought she had been “unattached” in their relationship, realized she had indeed become very attached, and was heartbroken.

Women become involved with married men for a myriad of complex reasons. I just wish Fanstasia the best, and if I could talk to Fantasia today I would say Fantasia, please take care of yourself, and your child, and let that man stay where he is until he’s legally free.

Because when a man is truly ready to leave a woman, he doesn’t just get separated, he gets divorced.

What do you think about women dating married men? Is it ever ok?

Do you think black women date more married men than women of other ethnicities?

Do you think Mrs. Cook is right in pursuing a lawsuit against Fantasia?

Other thoughts? Comments? I’d love to hear from you.

Ochocinco–the former Chad Johnson, who had his name legally changed to Ochocinco during Hispanic Heritage Month in 2008 because he wanted to see his number written in words (just not English ones, I guess)–came under fire after the first episode of the show for only choosing two black contestants (he admits he has a preference), and is now coming under some suspicion for his “Mexican” comments.

Many of you might be scratching your heads right now like, “Huh? GTFOH with that Chad!!”

But actually, it is quite possible for Chad to be Mexican, and as I watched that clip, I immediately thought about two things:

One, how rare it is to even hear the words “black” and “Mexican” together in a sentence unless that sentence contains news of racial violence between the groups, and two, the fact that Mexico also imported slaves—before America.

According to figures from Afro Mexico, the country was importing Africans as early as 1519, and they didn’t just import a few. Mexico imported so many Africans to work in silver mines, sugar plantations and cattle ranches that by 1553, “the black population soared to over 20,000”.

By 1570, Africans in Mexico outnumbered Spaniards by 3 to 1.

Afro-Mexican women. Photo by Bobby Vaughn

By 1742, black Mexicans had dwindled to a population of 15,980, though they still outnumbered the Spanish.

68 years later in 1810, the number of Afro-Mexicans shrunk to around 10% of Mexico’s population.

Afro-Mexican young man. Photo by Bobby Vaughn

After Mexico won its independence from Spain in 1821, the country abolished slavery and black Mexicans–who had their basic food, clothing and shelter needs met by slave-masters for over three hundred years–woke up one day kicked off plantations with nothing to call their own, and few willing to hire them.

Immediately, the percentage of their population to that of whites and other Mexican ethnic groups began a downward shift.

Today their numbers, which also include some black Seminoles, are around 1 million, making them about 1% of Mexico’s 111 million person population.

Black Seminoles

Black life in Mexico is a one of facing harsh stereotypes, with little to no opportunity for advancement through hard work or education as African-Americans had after the end of US slavery. Scorned by the government, Afro-Mexicans aren’t even counted among Mexico’s official citizens–as if they don’t even exist. According to writer Alexis Okeowo:

Afro-Mexicans are among the poorest in the nation. Many are shunted to remote shantytowns, well out of reach of basic public services, such as schools and hospitals.

Activists for Afro-Mexicans face an uphill battle for government recognition and economic development.

They have long petitioned to be counted in Mexico’s national census, alongside the country’s 56 other official ethnic groups, but to little avail…

In response to activist pressure, Mexico’s government released a study at the end of 2008 that confirmed that Afro-Mexicans suffer from institutional racism. Employers are less likely to employ blacks, and some schools prohibit access based on skin colour. But little has been done to change this. Afro-Mexicans lack a powerful spokesperson, so they continue to go unnoticed by the country’s leadership.

Because of discrimination, some Afro-Mexicans whose color and features allow them to hide their black heritage and claim instead a mix of indigenous Indian and Spanish blood, do-–a survivalist breach of their culture’s blurry color lines made easier by lack of knowledge about black Mexicans—even by many Mexicans.

And for some, marrying into the larger, lighter population is one of the only means of  uplift.

Black Mexican women

Elder Afro-Mexican woman with boy. Photo by Bobby Vaughn

Growing up, I would sometimes hear people self-identify as “black Indian”, “black Italian”, “black Spanish”, etc., and inevitably, someone in our circle would question their choice to be ethnically defined as something “other than just black”, as if being black and other was somehow a slap to black people as a whole.

Afro-Mexican youth dancing. Photo by Bobby Vaughn

It’s an issue that cuts to the core of multi-cultural black people on both sides of the Rio Grande.

Blacks who may be two, three or more ethnicities are often pushed by friends, families and communities to simply identify as one–usually “black”–regardless of the ties we may have to another culture, and regardless–at least in the US–if you only have a small amount of African-American ancestry.

Why this resistance to people claiming all of who they are?

black Mexican man

For example: Have you ever seen a Mexican on TV darker than George Lopez? And as far as “media Mexicans” go, he’s considered dark.

black Mexican woman

As an Afro Latina, Puerto Rican to be exact, I have always struggled to find my place in the world of Latinos and in the world of African Americans. Neither group has ever fully embraced my Afro-Boricua roots and desire to move freely from the world of salsa, mofongo and pasteles to the world of jazz, collard greens and sweet potato pie.

Hispanics are always shocked when I speak Spanish without an obvious accent (“Where did you learn to speak Spanish so well?”) and are puzzled to learn both of my parents were born in Santurce, Puerto Rico. (“So one of your parents must be Black?”).

African Americans cannot fathom the idea of a Black Hispanic. There is no awareness of the fact that 95 percent of all slaves who came to the Western Hemisphere during the Middle Passage were enslaved in Latin America, the Caribbean and Mexico. Only 5 percent were sent to the United States, and this was 100 years after the slave trade to Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries began.

While the “Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries” Miriam writes about are often depicted in travel brochures as sunny, multi-cultural paradises, a complex rubric entrenched during slavery placing whites or lights at the top and blacks at the bottom in social status and standards of beauty remains.

Many Afro-Hispanic people grew up rarely seeing positive portrayals of people who look like them.

Latino television is like a modern version of the highly segregated viewing experience our grandparents knew, filled with mostly white central characters and a background of black actors playing servants or buffoons.

And to see a celebration of dark Latina beauty was, and still is, even rarer.

Even Latina, a magazine “dedicated to Latinas” which has been in business since 1996, only recently featured a dark-skinned black Latina on their cover for the first time–in December 2009!

While the cover is a wonderful moment for Afro-Latinas, the question remains: What took so long?

Sadly, some Afro-Latinos whose genetic dice didn’t land on the side of them looking like their oppressors, succumb to self-esteem issues engendered by their society and alter their looks to, by using potentially toxic creams to lighten their skin. Like Sammy Sosa.

Sammy Sosa's new skin. His hair is different too.

And a similar movement is brewing among Afro-Mexicans.

Every year since 1996, dozens of towns along the 200-mile long coastal region known as Costa Chica (one of two regions in Mexico with significant black population, the other being the state of Veracruz) have come together to celebrate “Encounter of Black Mexico,” featuring regional dance, music and round-table discussions about black life.

Costa Chica, in the red square

Afro-Latin and Afro-Hispanic cultures offer fascinating looks into the history of the majority of Middle Passage survivors–a history important for blacks on both sides of the border.

While it’s common knowledge that many enslaved blacks escaped north via the underground railroad, what’s less known is that quite a few also escaped south, with Mexicans providing food and safe-houses for many on their way to freedom.

Afro-Mexican children. Photo by Bobby Vaughn

African-Americans have dealt with, and continue to deal with many of the same issues as Afro-Latinos/Afro-Hispanics, and the similarities between the different groups are abundantly obvious.

Are you a black Latino or Hispanic who’s been questioned about your identity choices?

Have you ever been told you “don’t look” Latino or Hispanic by members of your own culture?

What do you find most frustrating about the lack of understanding surrounding Afro-Latinos?

What do you love about being Afro-Latina or Afro-Hispanic?

Other comments? Let’s hear ‘em! I’d love to hear from you.

*And for the record, the jury is still out on whether Chad Ochocinco is Mexican, unless someone probes the issue with him further. But I’m guessing because he’s already planning his next numeric name change to Hachi Go, in all likelihood, he probably isn’t.

Dave Chappelle with wife & kids

Cross-cultural love in the US is nothing new. Before the advent of slavery, the US was home to immigrants from all over seeking a better life, and it wasn’t unusual to see interracial couples among Native Americans and European and African immigrants.

It was only after slavery became a fact of American life that laws against inter-marrying were put into effect, with most of these laws remaining on the books well after the official end of slavery in 1865.

Some however, refused to bow to legislation telling them who they could love.  Like Frederick Douglass.

Frederick Douglass with wife Helen (seated) and her sister Eva

After Douglass’ African-American wife Anna died in 1882, he fell into a depression and turned to friends like Ida B. Wells and Helen Pitts, his clerk in the office of the Recorder of Deeds in Washington (to which he had just been appointed under President Garfield), to help him get his zest for life back.

Pitts, the daughter of Douglass’ abolitionist friends Gideon and Jane Pitts, was a suffragist and had co-edited a radical feminist publication in DC called The Alpha prior to working for him.

In 1884, Douglass, 70, incited a scandal by marrying the Caucasian Pitts, who was 20 years his junior.

Blacks and whites across the country either hailed the Douglass-Pitts union as revolutionary, or decried it as an affront to both races. In addition to facing criticism from the racially divided, post-slavery public, they also faced it from their own families.

Despite their abolitionist beliefs, Mrs. Douglass’ parents were so against the marriage they stopped speaking to her, effectively disowning her; Douglass’ children disapproved because they felt his marriage was a “repudiation” of their late mother.

When I look at the photo of Douglass and his white wife, at once, I can see their union as a marriage untainted by the barbarity that was slavery, and imagine myself as a black woman of the late 1800s just getting used to my white-mandated “freedom”–perhaps as a domestic worker, serving them at White House dinners or the homes of Douglass’ wealthy friends–feeling a 19th century wince seeing this good black man with this white woman.

And I can’t help but wonder if sisters in 1884 were having the same conversations surrounding interracial marriage many of us are having today.

Whites certainly were.

In the Feb. 28th, 1884 edition of the Nation Magazine, marriage between black men and white women was actually posed as an answer to Caucasians’ “negro problem”, and a black preacher ominously recounts reasons a rash of such marriages would be disastrous for black women.

Article on Frederick Douglass' marriage to Helen Pitts in the Nation Magazine, Feb. 28, 1884.

Translation:

Black men marrying white women could solve our “Negro problem” and cause black women to go crazy because no one will marry them!

An early version of the–insert negative adjective like [bitter, angry, bitchy] here–black woman crisis, anyone?

Whether or not this scheme of getting more black men to marry white women was ever set in stone, the idea certainly seems to have taken root.

Duke Ellington and wife

In fact, a new Pew study, “Marrying Out” (released 0n 6-5-10, updated on 6-15-10), reports that interracial marriage is on the rise, with 1 of out of every 7 new US marriages being interracial or inter-ethnic unions.  And out of those interracial marriages involving a black male,  that black male, represents 22% of all newly married black men in the US.

In other words, 1 out of every 5 black American men is now marrying a non-black woman.

Richard Pryor with wife Jennifer

Below is a graph I made by inputting the percentages of black men out-marrying since 1980, against the years these numbers were calculated (1980, 2000, 2008). The graph shows that within the last 28 years, the number of black men out-marrying has taken a swift upward trajectory.

This graph represents 7.9% of black men out-marrying in 1980, 15.7% in 2000 and 22% in 2008.

Although exact figures are difficult to come by, I can only imagine that in the 115 years from the end of slavery in 1865 to 1980–the years during which most most US States had anti-miscegenation laws in place –that the number of black men out-marrying hovered well below 7%.

The closest statistic I could find on the number of black men out-marrying before 1980 was from 1960, which stated that in that year, a mere 1% of black male and female newlyweds combined married non-blacks.

So what’s behind the sudden rise in black men marrying non-black women? The statistics beg the question: Was the reason black men didn’t marry non-black women in these high numbers in the past, simply because they couldn’t?

Since the number of black men out-marrying jumped approximately 14% over 28 years (from 1980 t0 2008), this might represent a trend, and if it does, with this current trajectory black male out-marrying could grow at a rate of about 2% per year.

Dr. Dre and wife

If this pattern continues, the number of black men out-marrying by 2025 could be roughly 1 out of 2 (52%). According to the Pew study, only 9% of black women married in 2008 wed non-blacks.

And those numbers don’t even account for the number of black men just dating white women.

Eric Benet and girlfriend

Something about this just doesn’t feel right, though I’m hard-pressed to explain why.

Especially considering that I’m already involved, so none of these men or who they choose make a difference to me anyway.

And I know it’s 2010. We have a black president, and our first black Disney princess. These, supposedly, are signs that our country is racially moving onward and upward, beyond these petty conversations about who desires who.

I get it.

But while my mind tells me I have no right to feel anything about who these men choose to love–because every couple falls in love for different reasons–I’m still curious: Why do so many of our successful fathers, sons and brothers not seem to want us?

Brian McKnight and girlfriend

The burden for this phenomenon cannot, despite media attempts to manipulate this as a “black woman’s problem”, be squarely placed on sista’s shoulders. And it’s gotta be deeper than black men being tired.

Babyface and girlfriend

So why does it seem like so many black men are flocking to non-black women? Is it something we’re doing wrong? Or are some black men just not right?

Prince and girlfriend

And with the rest of America mixing so fast outside of the black population that a new beige majority is slated to replace the dominant white power structure over the next 100 years, what if black men are absorbed by the beige-dominant culture? Where will that leave black women?

Thanks for reading this super long entry.

All pics in this entry borrowed from, and many, many thanks are due to, A Field Negro. Be sure to check out his gallery for an eye-opening look at dozens of black men historically and currently linked to non-black women.

Questions:

Is this trend of black male out-marriage a problem? Or are people just making it one?

Were you aware of the growing numbers of black men out-marrying?

Why do you think black women, even though there are more of us than black men, have not out-married as much as black men?

Are you a brother who’s bothered when sisters date or marry out, even though you might date or marry non-black women?

Other thoughts? Comments? Let’s discuss. I’d love to hear from you.

Some think it’s about the green. Or in this case, the purp.

Some think it’s about black women.Some even think it’s about a gang. But there are at least three different theories floating around about the lyrics of this reggae classic: Barrington Levy’s “Black Roses”.

The lyrics to this song have inspired a long running Youtube discussion, with theories ranging from the obvious, to this song being about Jamaica’s Black Roses Crew. You can see master Jamaican danceman Bogle (RIP) mention “black roses” in this video at 4:38.

When I hear it I know what I think about.

Everyday, when I’m up before the sun making sure my babies are dressed warmly and fed, and sending them off with faces washed, teeth brushed and hair did, I picture sistas across the world rising in the morning and doing the same thing.

I picture women working through the night, getting shit done…even things we might not like doing…to make sure a roof is always over your seeds head, going thru bad dad drama – whether it’s yours or your child’s – and dealing with the everyday ig’nance that makes you wanna Elin a bitch.

I think about the level of disrespect for women that permeates popular culture when I’m writing, I think about our youth when I’m watching TV and when I’m standing in my tiny kitchen with blue vinyl floor tiles, a few of which have started to curl in the corner, cooking dinner and staring at the radio lamenting the state of our music.

There’s just so much stuff black women go through that is unique to our struggle, and women around the world really, are always on my mind.

I’m dedicating this to all of you moms holding it down everyday.

See you tomorrow. This post brought to you by my 30 day blogging challenge.

UPDATE:  12-11-09 | 11:20 AM

Just saw an interesting comment about this song. Still not sure exactly what the song is about, because only Barrington Levy knows that but I love this explanation from Youtuber jfraiche (click on the screen capture to enlarge it):

The furor over Obama’s speech is as silly as calling Obama Hitler. The speech is no different from Roosevelt’s fireside chats, which beamed into homes across the country in the 1930s. HuffPo has the full text of the Obama speech, a clip from which is below.

Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade.I’m glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.

Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’dcomplain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, “This is no picnic for me either, buster.”

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school.But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss withyou. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education andwhat’s expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.

I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around  schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers,the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities.Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers;listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

Ok sounds harmless so far. So how come the only people I see protesting Obama and this speech are white people and this crazy black dude? The scene at these protests against Obama are like something out of Deliverance. Smh.